Thursday, May 4, 2017

Am I a Failure?

A Failure is someone who, I guess I am a failure. The good news is not that we are NOT failures but that God already planned for the times we'd fail. As a mom, I find two polar opposite reactions to my struggles. I find that people either want to criticize my parenting or they want to tell me that whatever I do is okay. The problem is that the criticism rarely comes with any real investigation into what I have actually done when they weren't watching and the justification goes against my knowledge of right and wrong. When you are SCREAMING at a toddler for doing a normal toddler thing, you are failing. When you slap your teenager, you are failing. When you are swearing at your kids you are failing. When you are too anxious to do things you feel you should, you are failing. I am a failure. I have done all of those things. But I'm not giving in and I'm not giving up.
The good news is that I am not judged by God on a permanent basis for what I am right now, but on what I am becoming and to what degree I trust Him and turn to Him in my failures.

I guess I am not all one thing, I want to be all good and all success, but I am not. The truth is that life is sometimes hard and sometimes I don't step up to it. I believe there is always a way to do it better, especially when you are failing. I don't need to believe that it was the only thing I could do or that it was even my best, I just need to know that I can change, be changed, and be forgiven. Experiencing failure is inevitable, remaining a failure is a choice.

Love for God and my family urges me to be better everyday. God's love for me makes it possible. Jesus sacrifice makes it attainable. The only way to fail permanently is to give up, and I get to make choices about that.

Don't you give up either!

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