Thursday, May 4, 2017

Tribute to a Friend

I learned today of the passing of a friend.

(originally written in 2012)
When I was a very young mom and pregnant with my fourth child we moved to Bellevue, NE. I lucked out and had great neighbors. One of them was a Mom of two girls who lived behind me and down the hill. There were no fences so it was as good as next door. She was warm and friendly to me and made me feel so welcome. Even more, through my friendship of her I learned lessons in judgement. People used to give me dirty looks and say rude things to me because my kids were close together and I looked very young, I was young, but not as young as I looked then. I was telling her my frustration and said something like "It's not like I got pregnant in highschool or out of wedlock". She calmly, told me that she had, or had been married in highschool and had kids right away. It made me stop and think. Because of her I began to look more at all the opinions I held of others and the secret judgements we all pass. I still wouldn't tell my daughters to get married that young or have a child out of wedlock, but I am kinder about what I think of those who do. I love her and I respected her, and after she shared that I still did. It made me realise that I was carrying a belief that if you did that it ruined your life or something. I love her for that and for a thousand little kind exchanges of friendship. She moved, and we moved and we have been out of touch for a long time. We have messaged each other from time to time on FaceBook and I think of her often. I remember her everytime I'm tempted to assume anything about anyone and when I disagree with someone's choice I can still remember the love and respect I had for her and that there is something to be loved and respected in everyone. I will love her forever, and someday I'll get to hug her and say "I love you, and thank you so much for your friendship."

With love (and tears),


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